Confessions of a Cuban

Romantic Field Trip?

Going to 白云山 with my taiji instructor and then getting dinner? I’ll post pictures of the mountain for sure xD

Partying in GuangZhou

Lesson Learned. I will not hit the clubs when I’m drunk as fuck, without a bra on and with high heels on. NOT a good combo. I have bruises all over my legs that I don’t remember acquiring. Just remember tipping over a bunch of times. Like I would just be standing still and then suddenly drop, you’d think I was retarded. I also apparently went into the bathroom at some point in time, I’m amazed that I remember the fact that the toilet wasn’t a squatty potty, but somehow i fell onto the floor as I was pulling up my pants and I just kinda sat there in a puddle of pee for a good couple of seconds before I realized what happened. You could see my legs all sprawled out through the bottom of the stall! And then I picked myself up and just strutted out as if I weren’t totally walking in a daze. I also fell because they had those epilepsy inducing strobe lights and in my current state of mind, that was just too much for me. Tipped over again. 

Other than tipping over like a 3 legged cow, I think the dumber things that I did last night include whispering to one of the guys from my group that “Ihope I’m not being too forward but…I think we should get together next week.” And I’m pretty sure I gave my best ‘I wanna rip your shirt off right now ‘stare. Probably wasn’t as cute as I thought at the time. But I guess it worked cus he kissed my neck and said Alriiiiiiiight! 

Once I started sobering up, I noticed a girl sitting in a chair with her head between her legs, refusing to drink water. So here I am, staggering over to incoherent girl, a drunkard helping another drunkard and I sat in another chair and let her put her head on my lap but she was still spewing water out, refusing to drink no matter what I did. Eventually this French guy came over, he claimed he was a doctor, and he didn’t understand chinese or english but he understood spanish and so we moved her over to the grass so she could nap. 

You know, there are things that I arn about life that I should’ve known but didn’t because I lack common sense and trust the world too much. Like trusting that the French “doctor” was leading me over to a bench to sit down, not try to stick his tongue down my throat. Apparently I was being really loud like a “Chinese woman” whatever that means. Douche. 

Then there was this guy who spoke Arabic, I have no idea where he was from but we were talking and then all of a sudden he kept following me and shit and like grabbing my back fat as if that’s supposed to turn me on? I don’t play that way. 

Ran into one of my classmates, an Uzbekistani, and I danced with him for a while…man! I haven’t had that much fun in a while. He was very stable and touchy…he kept hanging on to my boobs though >.> I didn’t mind I guess. He was very possessive, like hand around my waist and such. Idk, it was nice. He warded off the creepy guys. Apparently we made out. A lot. Oops.. And then I left him to go back to this Venezuelan guy’s apartment cus I’ve never been with a Hispanic man…I know crazy! He looked kinda mixed. I kinda couldn’t focus on our nightly activities because I felt bad about leaving my Uzbekistani classmate hanging and then I kept thinking about how much I missed Tim. No matter how many hot Asians I make out with, I’ll still be thinking about Tim. I’m still glad I left the club when I did because I was tired of having random men think they could man handle me and make out with me just cus I was drunk and falling down. 

Tonight I’m hopefully hanging out with my Indonesian classmate who I had on my awesome list the second  he offered me a cookie on the first day :DD 其实 I like the Indonesian and the Uzbekistani guy about the same amount, though I like the Uzbek’s straightforward manner. We had eye sex hahaha 

Unfortunately there’s video and pictures to go along with this night of singing made up songs and rolling around in pee. I may or may not post them >.<

Greetings from Guang Zhou!

Oh Goodness guys! I don’t even know where to begin! I think I’m finally beginning to settle in, it’s been about 4 days now!! Though today, is the first day that I was able to go out and explore on my own. Explore one side of the main road where all the shopping goes down XD I’ve was too scared to wander any farther.

I more than like it here. If it weren’t for the fact that the government is a Communist one and the air is so dirty, I would live here. I’m fascinated by everything! From the way people walk in the lackadaisically walk in the middle of the road, to the old men with six packs doing their acrobatics, to the rude crowding in the elevators with little room to breathe. 

I really don’t mind the stares, though sometimes it annoys me that people don’t smile back at me when I say “Ni hao a!” The older people are usually friendlier than the youngins for some reason…more so the middle aged men bahaha 

Gahh…about classes here…holy. fuck. I’ve learned more in the passed three days of classes than I have in an entire month of Chinese class in the U.S. This shit’s fuckin crazy! The classes are all in Chinese xD I know, I know…but I was never taught real grammar in Miami, in ENGLISH, how the fuck am I supposed to know grammar in CHINESE?! Ahhh…the best part is that I’m in a school for Chinese as a second language and so my classes have Koreans, an Ecuadorian, Chinese Panamanians, an Uzbekistani, an Indonesian, a Russian/Mongolian, an African guy and those are just the people in MY class! There’s so many Russian girls here and people from other countries! I had no idea.

So I’ve made friends with basically all of Los Latinos because, you know, we all sniff each other out lol The Uzbekistani and the Indonesian guys which I like equally and then…then there’s this Korean guy who insists that I call him Jacob. haha He’s too adorable! And his friend Isaiah looks just like Taeyang! Height and everything! Their Chinese is the easiest to understand lol AND they both like American women…or any kind of woman in fact xD Last night they came with me and the 13 other students to a foreigner friendly bar and I had a blast! I’ve never spoken so much Chinese back to back…ever lol

Let’s see, the food is great. I love it. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost back fat…like a lot…I dont even fucking know how, it’s been five days. I guess walking and sweating like a mother fucker while lugging 20 pounds of books everywhere helps xD 

Ahhhh So many people, so many pretty lights and crazy Chinese people dancing zumba in massive mobs. I’ll keep you guys updated but for now I’m loving it, even if I do feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes in class >.<

Leaving for China Tomorrow!

Pretty excited but kinda nervous…dunno why…I even straightened my hair and did my eyebrows in preparation. 

I’ve been doing the whole slightly tamed curls thing for about a month now and it’s time to try and keep this mess contained! Though I heard it’s so damn muggy in GuangZhou that I’m never going to use my straightener…ever because it’s a waste of effort. 

Gonna take a carry on, a big motherfucker of a vera bradley bag and a huge check-in bag. Keep the monies far away from people, takin two books that I’m halfway through (Quicksilver and Devices and Desires) so I’ll be thoroughly entertained!

Also…I miss Tim blarg…at least he isn’t dead or anything. :D

It’s the last night in my apartment

Oh the sweet memories I’ve had in this room. The awkward encounters, the unwanted advances and the much welcomed advances. It has felt the presence of many lively individuals (Many to whom I owe my sanity to. Matt and Katie!) and endured many a sleepless night.

(I wish I could list the keepers of my company, but apparently the numbers have already roused suspicion of my neighbors. Bah, I say! I shake my fist. Perhaps I am a serial cuddler, for all you nosy mofos know! P.S I am.)

The roommate standoffs that I will not miss. Oh, those passive aggressive, poisonously snide comments left on the whiteboard. 

I have cooked several meals. Learned to be a better host. Learned how to please. How to be pleased. Learned about myself and confronted my insecurities, my fears. Learned to love myself. Mended broken egos, broken hearts. Had my frail universe torn to shreds in front of my very eyes and been comforted by my best friend when I needed him most. 

Yes, this year has been full of many tumultuous feelings. I hope to look back at all my tumblr posts and MS word pages and see my progress as a person.

Thanks to you all that have stuck around and witnessed the phases of my life, both the major and the insignificant!